Last night, a few of us were talking, and we opened up to one another, sharing things we were struggling with. I mentioned that I was having a hard time sticking to the promises that I made God, particularly with devotions. JC, the one who pretty much got everyone to open up, asked me what I had promised. When I said 10%, he and the others thought that it was overkill... but, he, at least, promised to keep me accountable to at least spending some time with God every day.
One other thing that came out of talking to them about devotions was that when I told them that I didn't think 2 1/2 hours was overkill because it was so easy for me to spend more than that (once I got started) usually, and do not find it abnormal to have prayed more than once for more than 4 hours for people, was that they realized, and are helping me to realize that this could very well be one of my spiritual gifts. Funny how having a spiritual gift in the area of spending time with God, and one of my greatest weaknesses is managing my time... hmmm...
So, this morning, I was praying about it all, and God just reaffirmed to me that this really is something that He wants me to do, and I have a peace about it... even when I'm struggling with it. It's okay to fall down, hey, little kids do it how often when they're learning to walk? But, every time that they take a few steps and fall, and take a few steps and fall, they are strengthening their muscles and are soon taking more and more steps in between each fall. This is something God wants, I have no doubt. I am very certain that this is something He wants me to learn now, for later.
However, I think, in starting, I'm going to cut back on expecting so much with the Bible reading and all that, and just be concerned about spending time with God, whether it's praying or listening to sermons, or working on the parables, or writing stories or reading through the Bible or whatever. I do believe that down the road reading through the Bible like I was will come... but, it's too much to start with.
This morning, I started listening to the Damascus Road sermons from the beginning (since I've finished the spiritual warfare series--as much as they have posted anyways, I'm still waiting for Sunday to hear the sermon about the sword of the Spirit). The first message was about The Damascus Road Experience-Portraits of Jesus. Shane related how the world is truly hungry for God. As one of his friends told him, they don't like church, and they don't like religion, but they're okay with Jesus. He went through a number of stories: Saul, Zaccheus, the woman at the well, Levi, and others, showing how the "world" was broken, hateful towards God, unclean, messed up, looking in all the wrong places, and really seeking. The "church" (or religious leaders of the day, or even just those following Jesus) looked down on them, pushed them away and drew back from them. Jesus, however, did not. He went out of His way to go to those people--the sick who need a doctor--to love them, despite losing popularity, followers, breaking laws, and so on. He didn't care how it looked to the religious, what He cared about was the lost, and restoring them to a relationship with Him. When they saw Him, they were changed.
When others see us, do they see Jesus or the religious? As followers of Christ, our call is to be made an example of.... what example are we setting?
My challenge to you, as well as to myself, is to keep taking those steps that God has called us to take, no matter what, and to live a life that shows Jesus, not just another religion.
May the Lord bless your walk with Him, and may His beautiful love shine through you, in all that you think, say, and do. Walk in peace.
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